realizing your an idiot, by sammygibble

as soon as I have a space to write something I cant put my ideas into any real concentrated, focused entity. Maybe I just need to blather my ass off for a while. I was riding my bike yesterday which I enjoy a little more than most people and I realized my county isnt as big of a shithole as I thought it was. Maybe its just me. Im always silently preaching to myself how circumstances do not create happiness but perception and attitude and then I thought of how big of a hypocrite I was sitting locked away in my room bemoaning my shithole, instead of getting out there and wiping my smug lowered lids off of my face and looking. I road my bike out on a country road I never really explored outside of a car, the euphoria building up in my calves in my thighs while I pumped along. That odd bent abandoned coal miner’s hovel was kind of beautiful with the overgrown weeds beating up against it. That placid opaque mindless old man sitting peacefully, enjoying absolutely nothing, on his porch didn’t deserve to be shoved under my prissy, assholish foot. Hes wasnt wasting his time. So I slowed down and stopped thinking about how far I was going to go on this ride and focused on the burning in my legs and how the 6 o clock sun was nice and warm and how nice and content and motionless all these weeds and trees were doing the same thing every single day until they cant stay green anymore and give up and are eaten up right in the same spot they first assumed their shape, which maybe, when you think about it, wasn’t the same spot all along.