Structures, by Dominick

We are the sum of our inconsistencies, contradictions, and past decisions. We are the lie we tell ourself every day. If we were too inspect our DNA close enough we would find multiple discrepancies which would only be remedied by death. Death and lies--the simple denial of these errors.

Every thought we think is built upon a foundation of previous thoughts and decisions. The mortar which holds this together is only as strong as a person's unwillingness to question his building materials and craftsmanship. What if we wanted to go back, and change the blueprint of a certain thought process in order to expand or destroy a certain wing of the building of our personality? What if we decided that we made a mistake, but the brick in which the mistake lies is too far down in the foundation? If we were too remove it we would fall like a Jenga puzzle being played by two patients in the Parkinson's wing of the hospital.

What if, at point b in our lives we are faced with a dilemma that can only be remied by having a certain brick at the mid sections of ourselves removed and replaced with another one of dubious quality? Lets say that in situation A, we need to resources to deal with a social situation we never handled before. Lets say that on July 21st 2008, you made a decision to add a brick to your facade that would only allow you to act in a certain way in situation a, and this method proved to be detrimental to your advancement in the situation as a whole? What you could do is try to remove that brick, and replace it with a more beneficial axiom. However, this brick has the weight of all the other bricks you've added from July 21 2008 to the present built on it. In order to change this aspect of yourself, you would have to go about with your chisel and axe modifiying the other bricks which are dependant on the strength it offers to the ones above it. It would be difficult to compromise the saftey of your whole persona.

Here is where our mortar comes in. Most so called "strong people" use a mortar that is so deceitfully powerful that they never question their engineer-approved structure. Lets say that the brick you placed in July 28th allowed for you to respond to certain stimuli in a negative manner. After this brick is placed, the mortar you use to justify it is "that stimuli doesn't appease me". However, that statement is not necessarily true and is more often than not a justification for the certain action you want to project. Existence precedes essence. We are faced with a reality and then forced to define it. If we now decided that in teh present we want to react to this certain stimuli positivley, we are now faced with the decision to change brands of mortar, that is to replace our justification with another one; a lie with another lie. The more astuley introspective you are, the more aware you are of this almost unconscious process.

The people that "get far in life" are the ones with the "strongest mortar".This is to say that they never question their own foundations. In this sense you are headed for a life that will bombard you with loads of stimuli and decisions but you will never ever crumble due to your strong mortar--your ability to lie to yourself--bad faith.

What if your whole towering, structurally sound building that everyone in society envies is built in the middle of a street or a park or a beach? Then what?


you fuck.

It is then reasonable to conclude that the most honest and thoughtful people crumble and fall under their own weight without a single soul caring as to their strife.