im sleepy

i have a bad habit of trying to make things more complicated then they need to be, of distracting myself.

thank you for reminding me. whoever you are

stop wanting and start learning to have.
i have swam through a forest of water cold, alive, completely saturated in everything, for miles. shields down, walls down, "protection" down. i dont want protection. protection from what? myself? from nothing.

computer screens, sucking, blinding screens are not for us. stifling, choking little cubby holes in tall buildings are not for us. thank you black moth super rainbow for reminding me that all that i really want in life is to sleep in a field. maybe forever. with grass whispering in my ear. no middle. no interpretation. eat an apple and feel it go through me. euphoria is dissolving all the labels, all the "meanings", all the purposes, all the descriptions. euphoria is everything wild, untamed, completely unknown, unlabeled, and absurd stealing my senses entirely. and not resisting any of it.