Sat nov 15 08
Today I did a little bit of walking through a very old forest. I meandered through a mesh of wet black deadened bushes, sickly vines snaking along the ground and up a few trees, a few sad blue purple berries crying and clinging to the frail arms desperate to let them go. A stark electric silvery lavender sticker bush buzzed surreally against the foggy gray sea of decomposing forest. It was silencing and unsettling. I looked up at the skyline to watch old old sickly trees swaying and swooning and hoping the next storm wind would bring them back down to their safe soft ground so they could finally sleep.
The wind felt refreshing except when it occasionally brought with it a vague smell of rotting animal. I want afraid. I almost kind of felt in place here. Everything here felt so old and exhausted and weak. A beautiful giving in. a beautiful self silencing giving out of the limbs. A beautiful appreciation and acceptance of transformation. Leaves dangling from blackened twigs so ready to drop and dissolve back into the ground. Undying energy caught in up in a false visage of death and decay. Ironic and invigorating and indescribable.
I lifted my arms up above my head and stretched toward the sky. Stretching myself apart, making spaces within me to let the air incorporate itself more readily inside my body. Deep affirming breath. I was in. I wanted to lie down on the ground but it was a little too wet and muddy. But oh its just mud and water. Im made of the same things. Gloomy beautiful sad drifty drafty day. Im glad the wet earth gave way under my feet. Im glad I sunk a little. Im glad I can feel myself in this earth and not just on it. And anxiety keeping me on a painful edge. Maybe ill shake it tomorrow. And grow more coherent. Maybe ill swallow the pain whole. Hug and embrace it. Thrive on it. Thats what ill do.
Then I got in the car and began to listen to leaves turn inside you and I rode home with the dying forest swaying in my ears.
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Midnight I stumble and flake into an earthly tendril strewn monster beast that fucks with your shit, monday I remedy the love drought, tuesday the beloved day of silence, wednesdays, forgotten heroes and unpenned pages crack and crevasse here there where things can delay itself space in a self deliver a satellite to test the eternity, galactic propositions, symbiotic exo-planetary information interaction, alien wares goods crowding the marketplace, the mall going under, subways, going under. Does the test of faith come crowded with goodwill, come, one who will write these pages, inking at verbatim, laughing lackadaisical, oooh this saucy one, when will he ever learn.
No, remembering a work of kindness pure heart, sitting in the dark with the lights on reflect/refract inter act. Heartful synesthesia wreaking this path into maya. Maya glowing at the rims, layers of multi dimensional illusory precepts bombarding all available channels, men do you not see the work you are. The work you have created is sticking like a stake twisted slowly into our minds, this stake of wood, earth, fashioned from lovely concepts, wrought to correct a land and a life it is our one weapon and comfort, our food spills from the cornucopia, mcdonalds doesnt let me work, I didnt apply, but spilling wanton, yes even chinese food, out over across whatever semblences that we identify, meaning washes everything, washing is smearing, where did it all go? Questions, the flickering speed, wavering at which reality trains along, a wave with the curved edges in front of our blue blue skies, crashing on chaos, can you model water this fast?
No way sir! His Evidence levels were at Sig, Colossal !! WE HQAD to investifwtfgate it....
It wwas such a short fest, we were driving and between it all we were drivin...
dual mic checkin
its not to leet wrecking
unseen fiend year yound round not just hallowenn
a fiend a friend w/v in the end
just get used to it
dry off in the clouds
i got crowds
here
following me
: -)
i found u sam
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